I remember the first time I saw 10 Things I Hate About You. I was around ten and I had been channel surfing and I found it on a random channel and started to watch it. I absolutely loved Julia Stiles and this new guy I had never heard of before was the male lead, named Heath Ledger. I remember thinking his name was weird but his eyes were mesmerizing as was his performance. Yes, it was a little teen romantic comedy but I saw it as so much more. I saw it as the best fairy tale ever. It led me to actually become interested in reading The Taming of the Shrew (which the movie was based on) and learning more about this Heath character. He immediately became one of if not my favorite actor. I remember seeing his movie A Knight's Tale and instantly developing an interest (not an obsession like my dad calls it) in him and his other movies. After that, I was excited when my history teacher in eighth grade showed us The Patriot because I hadn't been able to see that movie in the theatres. My mum was very strict on the rating system. If you weren't thirteen, you were not going into a PG-13 movie. So, after that I still saw his movies when I could, like Lords of Dogtown and The Brother's Grimm. I especially enjoyed how he wasn't plastered everywhere and that when he came out with a new role it felt like it was a long awaited treat or something. Then came Brokeback Mountain. I must have begged, borrowed, and dealed but my mum was not letting me see a rated R movie in my sophomore year of high school, let alone one about gay people. She was very conservative and didn't want me to see anything I could possibly question her about that she would be uncomfortable answering. I also got a lot of flack from my dad about me liking a guy who took a role of a gay man. However, I stood my ground and said he was a compelling actor and I thought the world of him. My dad and I were watching the Oscars and he saw he was nominated. They showed a clip and afterwards people were discussing the movie as very moving and emotionally driven. I looked at my dad and remember thinking if he was listening to them or simply hearing them. I was so hooked on seeing this role that had my idol nominated for an Oscar while at the same time people like the boys in my class just made fun of it. I applauded and loved Heath for taking a bold role. It wasn't the first time though, he played a gay cyclist in a show called Sweat that was cancelled after only a few episodes. He also took other unconventional roles such as a drug addict in Candy and a guy who messes up a job for a mafia man in Two Hands. Ned Kelly, The Four Feathers, The Order, and Monster's Ball were also movies that may have not had the best box office scores but certainly challenged him and made him a better actor in the long run. After Brokeback Mountain I was determined to see another movie of his. Casanova was another light romantic comedy Ledger did and certainly did not disappoint. I consider that to be one of my favorite romantic comedy movies.
After being Robbie in I'm Not There he took on the one role that will define him as a superstar forever as the iconic Joker in the Batman film, The Dark Knight. I cannot express to you the urgency I felt to this movie. After his passing for a while I didn't know if I should see it. I'll explain why later. But, while in Austin Liquors with my mum I heard the song Can't Take My Eyes Off of You by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. It was the song he sang in the first movie I saw him in, 10 Things I Hate About You. I then knew, I simply had to see this movie. I went by myself and it was probably better that way. I sat in the last row and thoroughly enjoyed being alone enjoying his last completed role as I enjoyed his role as Patrick Verona alone.
January 22nd 2008 was supposed to be a great day. It was for the most part. I remember it was a Tuesday and I had to go to my Yearbook meeting. I, at that point in my life, did some pretty weird things OCD-ish. I would always make sure I locked the Yearbook door twice before I left and that day I didn't. I signed on to a library computer at 3:45pm. My eyes then met with the glaring red bar on top of the Internet browser I was on that read HEATH LEDGER FOUND DEAD IN APARTMENT. STORY AT ELEVEN ON CNN. I was paralyzed. I froze and couldn't really react I was just shocked. I packed up my things and when I got picked up from school it was all over the radio. I just ended up turning it to an oldies station that wouldn't report it. I then thought back to me locking the office. I had only done it once. Was it my fault that he had died so suddenly and unexpectedly? I beat myself up for a while about it but as news spread about a bad mix of medications, I was a little less hard on myself. (Let the record show it was not an overdose, just a bad mix. He was not a drug addict.) So, I get home from school and my mum made my favorite meal and we ate dinner and I went to a basketball game but it was with a glaze over my eyes and a weird sense of floating. I don't know why I was affected so much, I didn't know him, he didn't know me, etc. I guess it was my feeling guilty and my instant interest I took in him that made me feel connected to him.
I wanted to write this before his one year anniversary because I don't think I'll have time. But I knew I wanted to write a heartfelt piece. I really did care about him as weird as that sounds. I care about how Matilda will grow up without a daddy and how she'll do financially and emotionally (more importantly). I'm watching the People's Choice Awards right now and I really hope The Dark Knight gets favorite movie. I can't imagine what would in its place. I'm writing aimlessly now just to fill the time between now and the winner being announced... and he did not disappoint yet again. I also hope he does not disappoint with his few scenes in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. I will sleep tonight like I did on January 22nd 2008 and like every night since then, remembering him and wondering why he was taken so early. January 22nd 2008 was supposed to be a great day. I was excited about my birthday and I thought that nothing could go wrong. Who would have thought my favorite actor would be found dead? I didn't, no one did I'm sure. But his death had undoubtedly showed me that motivation, determination, and simply making careful choices will bring you success and win over many people's hearts. I carry that in my heart wherever I go and I thank him. Heath, you were taken from us to prove that God only takes the best. I am glad to have witnessed your talent.
This was (in my opinion) one of the best done tributes on the Internet. The song is hallelujah performed by Jeff Buckley. I like it and I hope you do as well.
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