Alcohol. Good friend. Bad match maker.

Upon reviewing pictures that were just put up from my Halloween weekend, I realized...holy crap. My standards are NOT what they used to be. I looked at a friend's album who went to a frat party with me and the guy I (regrettably) made out with, is a complete...troll. He was not attractive in the least. Let me tell you, Jello shots, absolut, and rolling rock are this kids' best friend. Otherwise, I have no idea how he gets lucky. I won't mention where he went to school, God forbid he ever finds this. I mean according to him, my friends and I have "the personality of a wet blanket" and "are not at all that attractive"...funny, maybe he lowered his standards too. And, if I do remember myself, a person of this particular fraternity, is to uphold a certain morale for his chapter. A code known as, The True Gentleman. Far be it from me to judge, I was never a believer in sticking very closely to such strict rules, but to blemish my college's female population because we weren't what you were looking for (sluts) isn't something I take kindly to. Also, if I remember, one of my friends who was there that night walked away with "Michael Scott"'s phone number. Clearly, if you lowered your standards gentlemen, we did too. (She never did go on the date she set up with him mind you, most likely saw the same facebook album I did)
On a better note, alcohol can be a great friend. I was having a rough day, my friend Morgan was there to take a little of the edge off of my muscles. My friend had dealt with a recent death and the family and Jack was there to console her. It can do wonders for calming the nerves and creating good conversation. I had been over my friend's older brother's apartment and met a nice guy there, and our conversation started out with what we were both drinking. Lo and behold, a friendship blossomed. Then, there are the times alcohol and bridge the gap in between friendship and fuck buddy. A friend I had in high school only got affection from a guy she knew from both of them being completely wasted. Good friend, bad matchmaker. Used in the right context, it could become more and be beneficial.
Going to New Hampshire with some friends for winter break last year, alcohol can do good things for your social circle. Apparently, it was very rare for the guys I found myself in company with, to have a woman drink a handle of Captain. I tried absinthe for the first time and earned a little respect. It was nice. In short, alcohol can be a great thing, it can be used to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and ease emotional discomfort. It can also have you wake up the next morning and regret everything (and everyone) you did just twelve hours earlier.

Talks With Dad Part I

I have a feeling there will be more installments like this, hence the use of the numeral after the title. My family recently vacationed in York Maine as we do every year and when listening to a mix CD I made, (please stifle your laughter, I know mix CDs are cheesy.) he declared, "Erin, you were born in the wrong era, the wrong decade." I had a nice compilation of Frankie Valli, The Foundations, Mungo Jerry, Ben E. King and the Temptations with a few songs from Grease. I looked at him astonished. I had never thought of that because I love all music. This CD just happened to contain music from the 50's, 60's and 70's. I am usually listening to punk, rap, hip hop, pop, rock, classical, jazz, even really old Frank Sinatra and Billie Holiday. I do not however listen to country. I don't do twang. But, my father's statement got me thinking. What kind of person would I be if I grew up in the 40's, 50's..60's..70's...even the 80's...I had always wondered what life was like and whether or not I would fit in. My dad claims I would not because I am too liberal and people in America in past decades were much more conservative. I agree but political views aside, I felt I could survive in practically every era given the right tools. If I were to be alive during the twenties, would I be a supporter of prohibition or would I work at a speakeasy? What if I made friends with some nice Italian boys and went with the Mafia? Jon Dillinger perhaps? Maybe my family moves out to Los Angeles and I meet a nice girl at a casting call for spokes models named Norma Jean(e). Wouldn't that be something? To meet my female idol. In the fifties I might shake up my mum and dad's household by wanting to cohabitate or wanting to try this new thing called "the pill". Who knows, I my refuse to marry. The things that seem so normal today would have been lengthy conversations that ended in shouting arguments or hurt feelings.
I took a class on 1968 my first semester at school and I found that 1968 wasn't necessarily that much different than 2008. In fact, they were eerily similar. I wrote a 20 page paper comparing and contrasting the years and their pop culture. So, after that little research project I decided I would have fit in quite nicely in the late sixties. Any time period before that I think I would have had some severe difficulties. As I watch one of the few Romance movies can endure, Becoming Jane, I cannot fathom how these women lived. Waiting, waiting, patiently waiting for a husband to come along with the right fortune and their fathers to produce the right dowry. I personally don't see marriage as something I could partake in, at least right now. To me, giving yourself to someone, your entire being, is just idiotic. "Passion makes fools of us all" Anne Hathaway says as the brilliant Jane Austen in this movie. But to belittle yourself and to be an obedient little shadow to your husband is just preposterous. Even in the film, Mona Lisa Smile, Julia Stiles' character breaks the mold of Wesley College to continue her education at Yale while her friends are pairing off and starting a family and advising her to do the same. It's madness.
I explained all this to my father and he told me, "You are strong enough to stand on your own two feet, no one is refuting that... but I do sometimes wonder, are you strong enough to let someone in? Are you strong enough to let someone catch a glimpse of you?"
I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

Gulty Pleasures Are My Thing...

Ok, I'll openly admit it. I am addicted to the ABC Family adaptation of 10 Things I Hate About You. If you're a regular reader, you know I am practically living the life of Julia Stiles' role of Kat Stratford from the 1999 movie...minus the Mr. Verona...but none the less, watching the movie is like watching a home video in my house hold. I have a younger sister, who looks nothing like me coluring wise, she's blonde I'm brunette. She's blue eyed, I have hazel/gold-ish. She's tall, (six one ish) and I am short beyond belief. She's Miss Sunshine. I'm a realist. We just differ on some things. It goes without saying she is the Bianca to my Katarina. Anyway, off me, back to the show. It's great, I can't get enough of it. I thought the making a show out of a teen classic eas a bad choice but in my eyes, it has done exceptionally well. Let's start off with who absolutley makes this show awesome.

Larry Miller. I know, I know, he's older but hey the guy does a great job as reprising as Mr. Stratford. The overbearing and "severely unhinged" Walter Stratford is a source of not only comedy but the logic and parental force behind Kat and Bianca. In one episode he states, "I don't understand how someone who is so concerned with universal healthcare is so careless about her sister's feelings." It's statements like this bring the girls back down to reality and make them see the big picture for all of five seconds before running off into some other witty shennanigan. Larry Miller-Win.

Nicholas Braun. This kid is a whole lot of adorable in one very tall package. He is absolutley endearing as the lovestruck Cameron in this adaptation. After Lucientio in the original play, Cameron very much likes Bianca and wants her to notice him in more than a friend way and does everything in his power to ensure that he gets to spend some time with her and work up the nerve to ask her out and make plans. It's the cutest thing in the world to watch a guy who's gaga for a girl try and win her heart when she is so self absorbed when she looks in the mirror she sees a sea sponge. The girls is so self involved she doesn't realize the sweet boy Cameron is standing right in front of her. He's also the comedy of the show for the most part. Any part with Nicholas in it you can guarnatee a good chuckle to a hearty belly laugh. I found myself doing the later of the two with this brilliant line, "Ever since I saw Bianca my mind's been filled with rianbows...and Enya." His references to Harry Potter were also knee slappers ("Crap Voldermort's got her.") So yes, Nicholas Braun (who took Joseph Gordon Levitt's character Cameron) is also a very nice addition to the show, If you're going to watch it for anyone imparticular, watch it for this kid, you won't be disappointed.

Ethan Peck. I knew I recognized him from somethere. Who remembers all of those kind of dreadful Olsen Twin straight to video movies? Ok. Now, who remembers Passport to Paris? Aha. See? There you go. So, we know he has some sort of resume. And, to be honest, the first time I saw the kid I was happy he wasn't a Zac Efron look-a-like. He is a different kind of attractive. He's like a darker handsome. The kast type of Patrick Verona I wanted to see was this

......they went with this...

like, seriously, what is that? Knowing the casting people, they definitley would have messed up the look of (Petruchio) Patrick if they had gone with this "mainstream dark tormented" guy. I'm glad they stuck with the more badass, less emo-ness if you will. Ethan-not Heath's Verona, but just as acceptable.

*SPOILER*

He will NOT be doing the iconic serenade to (one of my all time favorites) Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons' "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You". I hope they st least kept the poem part...

Jolene Purdy. The first encounter between Mandella and Kat is very reminiscent of grade school. They two girls don't know each other but strike a quick friendship on a common note, they both hate the popular kids. Quickly Mandella chooses to help Kat with a few things by being the intimidating friend, a "goon" otherwise known. I can't decide if I like her character. I mean, I would like Mandella's character to be a little more present in the show. And assuming from last weeks episode, she might be "harboring same sex tendencies". She may have fallen for Kat.

Other than that, the cast is pretty average. Lindsay Shaw, who plays Katarina isn't exactly who I would have put in that role... I would have put Chelsea Hobbs in her place. Who, funny enough is actually in ABC Family's show Make It Or Break It. I first saw her in The Lords Of Dogtown and then The L Word. I just like her look better, not so much baby faced, very sharp and looks like she could kick the crap out of you. I think I could take Lindsay's Katarina.

vs.

thoughts?

Okay, well, that's my official review I guess. I hope they keep some things and i hope they do some things different. All we can do is wait. The show has done very well in my opinion. After the new episode "I burn, I pine, I perish" for more.

Enough Already.

Michael Jackson died.
Yes.
The King of Pop is dead.
Yes.
Moving on now...oh no. No-wait-ah yes this qualifies as a celebrity death that requires a burial with more attendance than a Deceased president's or more facebook status updates than the Obama election. Yes, this man, woman, whatever he wanted to be, child diddler person achieved more google hits, song downloads, and magazine memorials than any person I have ever seen. I wasn't a big fan of Michael's. I liked him when he was a cute little kid

Look at how adorable he was. And black. And male. He was normal as far as an audience member could see. I enjoyed songs such as "ABC" and "I'll Be There". Ok, so normal songs basically. Then as he progressed to this....

I found myself to still like his music, like "Smooth Criminal". This is my favorite Michael Jackson song EVER. I have the version by Alien Ant Farm too. Other than that, Thriller, not interested. I know, it's orobably a sin somewhere in the Bible that says, thou shalt love Thriller but in all honesty, the dance moves were not complex, he was just that type of performer that performed such simple dance steps with overexaggerating finesse and emotion. Honestly, look at the video. Go, I'll wait here and you can watch it. Now go look at a Chris Brown or Usher music video..yeah..little bit more intricate if I do say so myself. Billie Jean, not my cup of tea. Although, David Cook did a beautiful rendition of it on American Idol a couple seasons ago. So, besides giving me the motivation to learn the moonwalk, I never really felt connected to him as say..Heath Ledger. :)

*He was also a father. Hearing Paris Michael speak of her father at his memorial at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, it was clear that no matter what he did or what he was accused of, he meant the world to this little girl and he should be left in peace. I know if it were my dad I would ask for the same.

Moving On..

Roger Federer.

Really? Really Roger?

I can't stand Roger Federer.

He is almost just too good. He's the equivalent to the 1990's New York Yankees. Unbeatable when in the high pressure situations which is what all tennis is, especially Wimbledon. On the opposition, I am in love with Andy Roddick. I have been a fan of Andy since I was about ten or eleven. This was when I stopped taking tennis lessons at the YMCA. Irony, I know. Anyway, he had come up to reach huge stardom and then pretty much fell off the face of the earth for some time before finally hiring a new coach, shedding fifteen pounds and came up with a new approach to the game. One, that led him tothe Wimbledon Finals. I was cheering on not only Andy Roddick but Andy Murray as well in the beginning. I was obviously conflicted when they played each other but alas the underdog came out on top. So naturally, being an American I rooted for Andy Roddick when he played Roger. Fourteen Grand Slam title were working against Andy and the beat him but nonetheless he put up a Hell of a fight and I am proud of him. It's been a long fan relationship but I can finally say with pride after many years of being mde fun of (sorry Andy) that I am a proud Andy Roddick fan.

Being a Bro

Ok, everyone knows I'm pretty informal. Informality is sometimes mistaken in my family as crudeness. Obviously there's a line between the two. Do I cross it? yes. Alot? Duh. However, thought the past few years of my life, I have developed into a bro. Yeah, a bro. A "bro" is defined as 2. An alpha male idiot. This is the derogatory sense of the word (common usage in the western US): white, 16-25 years old, inarticulate, belligerent, talks about nothing but chicks and beer, drives a jacked up truck that’s plastered with stickers, has rich dad that owns a dealership or construction business and constantly tells this to chicks at parties, is into extreme sports that might be fun to do but are uncool to claim (wakeboarding, dirt biking, lacrosse), identifies excessively with brand names, spends a female amount of money on clothes and obsesses over his appearance to a degree that is not socially acceptable for a heterosexual male. The female equivalent of the Bro is the Bro Hoe. Bro Hoes are Bro groupies that hang around bros, many of whom are actually quite hot and are thus spared the scorn that is heaped on Bros. Ok, not quite on this bro definition, but I am not seen as a woman in my group of guy friends...or girl friends for that matter. My girl friends come to me for advice but most of the time the advice revolves around men. Why is he acting this way?, Why does he wear his clothes like this?, Why does he talk the way he does? Honestly, I don't know. I don't know why your guy friends do wierd things and I don't know why your boyfriend won't call you or text you. I'm a woman. I'm a girl. I'm trying extremely hard to become more woman like but it's pretty difficult to break bad habits.
It all started with my family. I always hung around my older cousin Shawn during weekends and over the summer. Shawn and I would play Power Rangers, basketball, football, and whiffle ball. We had fun yes and we are still close as unofficial siblings can get haha. Then, it progressed to my mum. My mum could never bring me to "Take your daughter to work day" because she claimed it was "confidential" work that I couldn't sit in on and thus it would be a waste to get me out of school for nothing. Therefore, I would go to school and end up spending the entire day with...the boys in my grade. After being invited to play kickball and whiffle ball I gained respect from them as not a girl but someone who could be fun and be with them on their own level. My sense of humor then developed to their liking so we could converse. Unfortunatley it stayed that way for a while. My dad and I have always enjoyed toilet humor and things like The Three Stooges and physical humor. This of course didn't leave and I entered junior high with this awesome sense of humor and immediatley identified with both boys and girls but more often boys. After that, high school came. High school...
High school is the time when the genders start to look at each other in a different light and forge new relationships with each other. This is also when you become friends with people that will literally watch you grow up and become who you are. I had a lot of gay guy friends and guy friends. I also didn't have a best friend. I had groups of friends but never a best friend. The guys I hung out with literally saw me as one of the guys. It was pretty saddening when I thought about it. I mean, I wasn't a girl. At one point I was planning a birthday party for one of my guy friends at Platinum Premier! (A nice gentlemen's club in m hometown) I was a man.
Being a bro has severely ruined potential relationships and the way I relate to people. I'm on a spree of self discovery and change. Here's to hoping I can reverse the years of testosterone I've put upon myself unknowingly.

Cheers.

Forgive me father...

Ok..so wicked long time since I've been writing and it's always been a fun thing for me to write about celebrities, we all know that. But alas there are more important things than that. So now, i want to discuss private versus public school systems. I know, it's like, "Woah, what the Hell are you going into that for?" Well, it has come to my attention that some people think that private schools are better than public. I highly disagree. I went to a private Catholic high school and I know for a fact I have always wondered what I would be like or what my life would be like if I were to have gone to a public school rather than my private school. It's not that I didn't like my private school, I will carry memories of that institution forever. I met my best friend there and I couldn't possibly imagine my life without going to mass with these kids or celebrating Christmas and Easter. I thank God for that I really do. I also remember the condition my school was in. It has not evolved since the late sixties. There are numerous things wrong with it be, jammed lockers, chipping paint, a temperamental elevator, or staff so old they sat behind Jesus in the third grade. They had a very sweet, "grandparent" like quality to them but I wasn't there to be friends with the cute little old people I was there to be educated. Part of this is also weird because the first question on my entrance exam was whether or not any of my family members had attended this place. I of course answered with whomever I could and after I remember thinking to myself, "Would I have still gotten in if not for my family?" You see people get away with much more in private schools be it the family name or be it the fact they're on a varsity sport or giving a generous gift to the school. Now, in private schools the teachers don't have to be checked up on every year so rather than hire more qualified or newer teachers that would ask for higher pay, they stick with the teachers that have clothes older than myself. One of these such teachers works in the foreign language department. He's a sweet guy but I did not learn a thing in his class. I turned in the same homework for the entire year. He accepted it and just let everyone talk the whole period. I also felt the public school teachers had better control over their classes. I was in a math class my junior year that was able to be described in three words, no control whatsoever. He was this little Indonesian man who was almost too smart to teach. I want to say around seventy percent of his students got D's or low C's and those kids were ecstatic. I was one of those kids. We as a class went to our Guidance department to try and see if high authorities would try to hold a meeting with him to change his approach or teaching styles. By the way, my Guidance department consisted of one awesome counselor who was a priest and was the only person in my school allowed to wear a popped collar. The rest of the counselors with the exception of one was like walking into One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I felt like every time I walked in the door I was going to be seized for electroshock therapy. So, obviously, that didn't work out and we as a class had to fight tooth and nail to get passing grades. Another prime of their exceptional interview skills would be hiring a theology teacher with no degree in theological studies. He had a B.A. in English who was an Evangelical prick. he had no prior training and my class came across information that the sweet priest from the Guidance department hated his guts. I tried with fifteen of my other classmates to get him fired no matter what. The only things we didn't press were planting drugs on him or saying he had an illicit relationship with a student because frankly, he wouldn't get that lucky. He said and did a lot of things most people would find crude and close minded. The latter, being something I personally frown upon. If you are going to sit in front of me and say kids from broken marriages are going to be less loved or love less than you have a big reality check coming because seeing as sixty percent of marriages end in divorce, you have a sixty percent chance of saying and offending a child from a divorces household. In my family we have an awesome track record with divorce. Naht. My family has a total of three families on my mother and father's side combined that were not previously married or divorced. I felt wicked offended that someone would even consider that something relevant to the class. Anyway, the teachers like that were crazy. Another thing was the academics. I took Advanced Placement English Composition and literature my junior and senior year of high school and it was probably the only classes I've taken because the teacher wasn't stupid and knew what we were capable of. She was one of the only real teachers in the school. She was also a younger teacher, coincidence? I think not. The only difference between my private school and public school according to some is the uniforms.
Let me tell you something about those stupid things. First of all I am lazy and loved getting up in the morning and throwing on anything and knowing it matched. Second, tucking in your shirt confines you to drokdom for life. I don't care how thin you are, you look like a dweeb. Uniforms also made it harder to express yourself. If you like myself felt that fashion was art and a way to express yourself you hated the uniform. You hated it with a passion and felt that your parents were evil people for sending you to such a place of damnation. Basically, I was pissed from the age of twelve to roughly age sixteen. I hated it. Not everyone could afford the uniform either which made it all the more frustrating to shell out like forty bucks for a shirt to only find that your school is switching uniform companies within the next year and you can no longer wear that brand of shirt. Hence, the label tearer and my mum's first rebellion of my school by refusing to spend an obnoxious amount of money for clothes I'm only going to wear for six years. A friend of mine who went to an all girl's school loved her uniform but I can't imagine that. It's just impossible to me. And in my opinion the only thing worse than a co-ed Catholic school is a single gender school. She went to an all female school and with my experience in school with about six to eight guy friends and the other six girls and nine of them gay men, I can't see myself not having that diversity in my circle.
Gay-Straight-Alliance groups are one of those awesome groups I wish my school had. I couldn't start one because the Catholic church looked down upon it. To be honest, the Catholic church looked down upon meat on Fridays and felt women should never be allowed on the altar and we see how that's such a hit with the crowd. It's almost not worth the arguing because you knew at least three of your classmates were gay. We live in Massachusetts, a very liberal state, it's about time we caught up with it. Acknowledging homosexuality and its faces is one thing I especially would have killed for at my school.
I went to a much more "ghetto" Catholic school than some of my other friends at college. They went to these pristine places where trips to Europe and smart boards in every classroom happened. We at my school had one smart board. They had computers that all the parts worked and they didn't have to save things to floppy disks. The alumni from my school are not big money spenders on gifts for the school. Anything we wanted we had to work for and do a lot of fundraising. I feel like we as a private school had switched spots with a stereotypical public school and we were ion the bottom with most of the qualities and requirements a school should have. I could go on forever about my school's problems but it's a moot point. The friend of mine that went to a really nice single gender school states that no one from her class or within her group was homosexual when i am almost 98% sure someone was. They may have hid it. I don't blame them. Kids are vicious and the Catholic church is about fifteen times worse. I saw a lot of things go down in my school I doubt would have been tolerated at a public school.
In my opinion, there is no difference to private and public institutions. The only differences if you want to look for them are the uniforms, bringing God into the classroom, and maybe having more holidays off. Other than that it wasn't as different as I see. I mean, yeah there are little differences but going to a private school does not make you smarter and going to a public one does not make you less intelligent. I think people need to open their eyes and realize that there are public schools that could kick private school's butts when it came to credentials and requirements. I know mine would be looking pretty lowly if compared (God forbid.)

If tears could build a stairway,and memories a lane, I'd walk up to Heaven and bring you back again.

I remember the first time I saw 10 Things I Hate About You. I was around ten and I had been channel surfing and I found it on a random channel and started to watch it. I absolutely loved Julia Stiles and this new guy I had never heard of before was the male lead, named Heath Ledger. I remember thinking his name was weird but his eyes were mesmerizing as was his performance. Yes, it was a little teen romantic comedy but I saw it as so much more. I saw it as the best fairy tale ever. It led me to actually become interested in reading The Taming of the Shrew (which the movie was based on) and learning more about this Heath character. He immediately became one of if not my favorite actor. I remember seeing his movie A Knight's Tale and instantly developing an interest (not an obsession like my dad calls it) in him and his other movies. After that, I was excited when my history teacher in eighth grade showed us The Patriot because I hadn't been able to see that movie in the theatres. My mum was very strict on the rating system. If you weren't thirteen, you were not going into a PG-13 movie. So, after that I still saw his movies when I could, like Lords of Dogtown and The Brother's Grimm. I especially enjoyed how he wasn't plastered everywhere and that when he came out with a new role it felt like it was a long awaited treat or something. Then came Brokeback Mountain. I must have begged, borrowed, and dealed but my mum was not letting me see a rated R movie in my sophomore year of high school, let alone one about gay people. She was very conservative and didn't want me to see anything I could possibly question her about that she would be uncomfortable answering. I also got a lot of flack from my dad about me liking a guy who took a role of a gay man. However, I stood my ground and said he was a compelling actor and I thought the world of him. My dad and I were watching the Oscars and he saw he was nominated. They showed a clip and afterwards people were discussing the movie as very moving and emotionally driven. I looked at my dad and remember thinking if he was listening to them or simply hearing them. I was so hooked on seeing this role that had my idol nominated for an Oscar while at the same time people like the boys in my class just made fun of it. I applauded and loved Heath for taking a bold role. It wasn't the first time though, he played a gay cyclist in a show called Sweat that was cancelled after only a few episodes. He also took other unconventional roles such as a drug addict in Candy and a guy who messes up a job for a mafia man in Two Hands. Ned Kelly, The Four Feathers, The Order, and Monster's Ball were also movies that may have not had the best box office scores but certainly challenged him and made him a better actor in the long run. After Brokeback Mountain I was determined to see another movie of his. Casanova was another light romantic comedy Ledger did and certainly did not disappoint. I consider that to be one of my favorite romantic comedy movies.
After being Robbie in I'm Not There he took on the one role that will define him as a superstar forever as the iconic Joker in the Batman film, The Dark Knight. I cannot express to you the urgency I felt to this movie. After his passing for a while I didn't know if I should see it. I'll explain why later. But, while in Austin Liquors with my mum I heard the song Can't Take My Eyes Off of You by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. It was the song he sang in the first movie I saw him in, 10 Things I Hate About You. I then knew, I simply had to see this movie. I went by myself and it was probably better that way. I sat in the last row and thoroughly enjoyed being alone enjoying his last completed role as I enjoyed his role as Patrick Verona alone.
January 22nd 2008 was supposed to be a great day. It was for the most part. I remember it was a Tuesday and I had to go to my Yearbook meeting. I, at that point in my life, did some pretty weird things OCD-ish. I would always make sure I locked the Yearbook door twice before I left and that day I didn't. I signed on to a library computer at 3:45pm. My eyes then met with the glaring red bar on top of the Internet browser I was on that read HEATH LEDGER FOUND DEAD IN APARTMENT. STORY AT ELEVEN ON CNN. I was paralyzed. I froze and couldn't really react I was just shocked. I packed up my things and when I got picked up from school it was all over the radio. I just ended up turning it to an oldies station that wouldn't report it. I then thought back to me locking the office. I had only done it once. Was it my fault that he had died so suddenly and unexpectedly? I beat myself up for a while about it but as news spread about a bad mix of medications, I was a little less hard on myself. (Let the record show it was not an overdose, just a bad mix. He was not a drug addict.) So, I get home from school and my mum made my favorite meal and we ate dinner and I went to a basketball game but it was with a glaze over my eyes and a weird sense of floating. I don't know why I was affected so much, I didn't know him, he didn't know me, etc. I guess it was my feeling guilty and my instant interest I took in him that made me feel connected to him.
I wanted to write this before his one year anniversary because I don't think I'll have time. But I knew I wanted to write a heartfelt piece. I really did care about him as weird as that sounds. I care about how Matilda will grow up without a daddy and how she'll do financially and emotionally (more importantly). I'm watching the People's Choice Awards right now and I really hope The Dark Knight gets favorite movie. I can't imagine what would in its place. I'm writing aimlessly now just to fill the time between now and the winner being announced... and he did not disappoint yet again. I also hope he does not disappoint with his few scenes in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. I will sleep tonight like I did on January 22nd 2008 and like every night since then, remembering him and wondering why he was taken so early. January 22nd 2008 was supposed to be a great day. I was excited about my birthday and I thought that nothing could go wrong. Who would have thought my favorite actor would be found dead? I didn't, no one did I'm sure. But his death had undoubtedly showed me that motivation, determination, and simply making careful choices will bring you success and win over many people's hearts. I carry that in my heart wherever I go and I thank him. Heath, you were taken from us to prove that God only takes the best. I am glad to have witnessed your talent.

This was (in my opinion) one of the best done tributes on the Internet. The song is hallelujah performed by Jeff Buckley. I like it and I hope you do as well.